Keep the Flame Alive in 2013

It’s a new year, so that means making a lot of resolutions about how we will improve our lives. Unfortunately, most people will have already forgotten their resolutions by February. This year, instead of heading for the fall back resolutions, pick one that will benefit you and your partner. This year, resolve to keep the flame alive in your relationship.  Use some of these tips to get a head start.

Break Routine

It’s easy to fall into routine, whether it be your after work schedule, your bedroom antics or even your Friday night date night. But as comfortable as routine is, it causes us to take things for granted and sink into boredom. Make an effort to identify all of the routines in your relationship and change one at a time. Keep your date night, but go out on a Saturday afternoon or a Thursday after work instead. Try different places and push yourself out of your comfort zone. If you can predict every step of your bedroom routine, break out of the mold by incorporating a few toys from Adam and Eve or by role playing.  You’ll find that your love will deepen for your partner as soon as you bring spontaneity back into your relationship.

Focus On Your Health

I have a friend that said she doesn’t have to keep herself in shape any more because she’s married. My jaw hit the floor when I heard this. What? No. You should want to take care of yourself for you. It has nothing to do with being in a relationship. However, with that said, getting into shape or keeping yourself in shape is a great way to keep your relationship exciting because it keeps your confidence high, your partner’s attraction and your sex life going. Staying in shape is also a great way to reduce and manage stress, therefore making you happier and lessening the likelihood of fights between you and your partner. Use your health as a way for you and your partner to bond by working out or cooking together.  This can also check off that “lose 10 pounds” resolution you made as well.

Try Something New Together

A really great way to keep the flame going is to try new activities together. Engaging and learning something new together automatically creates a bond between the two of you and will force you to come together as a team.  This year, instead of heading to the movies or a restaurant, take turns picking new activities, like horseback riding, cooking classes or going on a wine vineyard tour.  You’ll find that you feel closer afterwards and may even develop a new hobby that the two of you can share.

Ditch The Nagging

It’s easy to slip into a pattern of nagging. It starts small and then slowly grows and I find as we start nagging more, we compliment less–we stop seeing the positive and simply focus on the negative. This year, work on praising and complimenting more and nagging less. Whether you’ve been together for a year or ten, everyone likes to hear that they look nice, that the food they make is delicious, that they are the best at something and so on. So next time you go to complain, compliment them instead. It won’t take long to see an attitude change and an increase in affection.

Plan Surprises For Each Other

This one goes hand in hand with breaking the routine, but goes anywhere from picking up their favorite coffee when you’re out or planning a weekend getaway for the two of you.  When you first started dating, surprises were a natural way to say you cared, now you’re just surprised if they take the trash out without you asking. Show them how much you care about them by surprising them with things they could appreciate. You don’t have to spend any money to do this either. Surprise them with an organized closet, a car wash, a back rub or some afternoon delight. Get creative with it.